As I watched my two little ones climb into the bus this morning, I was proud. But I was also profoundly sad. With all of the lay-offs that I have experienced, I have been more a part of my 5-year olds life more than my other two boys. Sure, it hurt when I sent off my now almost 9 year-old - but this time it was different. This is my baby that I'm letting go. I was unemployed at the time of his birth, and for a little while after, and so I took on almost all the typical roles that a mother would. The everyday things: mid-morning naps, the smell of a newborn, changing countless diapers, bottles, bottles, bottles, burping...and playing. Playing with miniature toes was my favorite thing to do. That, and just hold my baby(ies) as much as I could. You see, I've always known this day was coming so I tried to prepare for it as best as possible. Taking every moment I had with them and trying to burn into my brain the feeling that I had RIGHT THEN.
Now, as my little one is growing up, and the house is silent for 1/3rd of the day for five days a week, I'm faced with a startling reality: Who am I now?
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