Crying wolf and dealing w/ the middle finger

Posted on October 5, 2010 by ronfarrell

My 3rd grader has had to deal with a bunch of new things in the past three years of elementary school. His innocence is slowly beginning to fade as a result. One of the prime issues he’s having lately is that of lying. He could lie to the Pope if needed. This is a problem.

There are some interesting, albeit rude children that ride the bus/attend school with my little boy. Nearly everyday I get the afternoon update that he was harassed, pushed, punched, cursed at, or flipped off. It was just a matter of time before I got a notice about him doing the same thing. Sure enough, it came yesterday from the bus driver. My perfect little boy has been flipping the persuasive finger to other students as they exit the bus. How did this begin to happen? How influential have I been, or not been, in his current behavior? Granted, I have been known to greet rude drivers in this manner before – but not since he was an infant – for this very reason.

Upon his bus driver telling me this unfortunate information, my son begins to cry hysterically. “I didn’t do it!” This information, coupled with the fact that my son has been known to lie lately, has really put me in a bad spot. On one hand, I feel immediately defensive. No way he could’ve done this, right? On the other hand, it’s his word against the adult behind the wheel of the bus. Through his tears he continues to defend his position and there I am – officially stuck in the middle.

The best way to deal with this, I decide, is to defend him without completely believing him. This sucks because he’s my innocent little baby boy still…right? I tell him that either way, he’s been known to lie in the past which puts us in a bad spot right from the get-go. We let this finally rest with him upset and with me on the fence.

The question I pose is this: At what point to you stop blindly backing your child? Especially if you have reason to believe that they might, indeed, be guilty of what they are being accused of.

Everyday that passes, my little boys become more and more grown up. I can’t shelter them forever but there comes a time when every parent has to deal with crying wolf and the bird.

Blogging ideas and a trip to the bathroom

I have decided to start keeping a tiny notebook in my pocket. "Why," you might ask? Simply because I do not want to miss any more of my boys' "isms." Between their funny little quips about daily life, to the thoughts/questions/feelings I have just by looking at them - I figure I can have this little book filled up in no time.

After all, there's something both funny and annoying about your 5-year old son bargaining with you before going to the bathroom by saying, "I'll go, but someone has to come wipe my butt when I'm all done." Oh boy. Or here's another example: "I promise to finish my dessert if I don't have to eat all my dinner."

The sheer innocence that I witness during these little bomb-statements is the wonderful part. They are bargaining with me. They are practicing the art of arguing. They are rationalizing, so, I indulge them. "OK I'll come wipe your butt after you are finished in the bathroom, but you have to do the same to your big brother later" Uh, no. This produces an initial scowl, followed by the realization that I'm not really serious. The look on his little face is priceless. He ends up taking care of the entire business by himself and, after reminding him to wash his hands, put on underwear, flush the toilet, turn the fan on, pull his pants up, button his pants, USE soap, dry his hands, put his shirt back on, and re-flush...voila, we're done!

At any rate, I have a ton of little examples like this that I think I'll begin blogging about. Some will be funny, some sad, and a lot of the posts will be bittersweet (just like being a parent).

Our children are growing up before our very eyes. As stay-at-home dads, we are fortunate to be able to see this. Through the feelings of inadequacy, the loneliness, and the (sometimes) frustration - we are watching our little works-in-progress grow up to be little people. There are times that we, as fathers, need to be reminded of just what an important jobs we have.

Now, I have to go help my little man peel the "hair" off of his peach!

-Ron (www.denverdads.net)

Getting connected at The Convention

Be sure to come and introduce yourself at this year's At-Home Dad's Convention in Omaha, NE!

DenverDads.net is beginning to spread it's wings.

Companies add 67,000 workers in Aug but jobless rate rises to 9.6%

Click here for full article.

1st day of full-day kindergarten dad blues

As I watched my two little ones climb into the bus this morning, I was proud. But I was also profoundly sad. With all of the lay-offs that I have experienced, I have been more a part of my 5-year olds life more than my other two boys. Sure, it hurt when I sent off my now almost 9 year-old - but this time it was different. This is my baby that I'm letting go. I was unemployed at the time of his birth, and for a little while after, and so I took on almost all the typical roles that a mother would. The everyday things: mid-morning naps, the smell of a newborn, changing countless diapers, bottles, bottles, bottles, burping...and playing. Playing with miniature toes was my favorite thing to do. That, and just hold my baby(ies) as much as I could. You see, I've always known this day was coming so I tried to prepare for it as best as possible. Taking every moment I had with them and trying to burn into my brain the feeling that I had RIGHT THEN.

Now, as my little one is growing up, and the house is silent for 1/3rd of the day for five days a week, I'm faced with a startling reality: Who am I now?

Colorado Employment Situation report

This report from the Colorado Labor Department Twitter page shows very interesting data in regards to the employment situation in Colorado for the month of July 2010. Click here for the full report.

July 2010 - Bureau of Labor Statistics, US Dept of Labor

Click HERE for July 2010 US Department of Labor statistics.